September 15, 2017 • BY Laurie Joy

Worried Your Kid is Entitled?

A revolutionary series on how NOT to raise one!

I once heard a story about a mother who had purchased two copies of her son’s books for school so he didn’t have to bring them home in his backpack. He had one set at school and one set at home. Keep in mind, he was a 6’0 strapping young man in high school. He could have easily carried his books home every night and done it with ease, but his mother CODDLED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM and had two sets.

WTF?

Now, I’ve been in the education sector for 22 years as a junior high and high school teacher as well as a university professor and I have to tell you, there is an EPIDEMIC happening with our children. One that I am witnessing on a daily basis and it HAS TO STOP!

And in these years I have encountered thousands of students and have had conversations and meetings with hundreds of parents. I have seen what happens to a child when they are coddled, spoiled, pampered, indulged, and waited on hand and foot. I have seen it, witnessed it and said to myself, I will NEVER raise it!

The truth…. when your kid comes to school, and they’re entitled and spoiled, they’re an idiot. #truthbomb They speak to authority with a tone and tongue that you would not believe. They feel entitled to good marks even when they don’t do the work. They want to be entertained rather than being taught. They think their shit doesn’t stink and treat other kids like dirt. They come unprepared for tests and blame the TEACHER for having the damn thing to begin with. They don’t hand in assignments on time and have their parents phone the school and make up some shit ass excuse so they can get the full marks.

Our kids are changing and we need to STOP THE BULLSHIT.

 

We Need to Stop:

  • endless amount of kids being silenced by iPads and iPhones
  • endless amounts of meals in cars and not at the dinner table
  • moms on their phones all day every day and not paying attention to their kids
  • a generation of kids who don’t know how to entertain themselves by playing outside, playing by themselves or heaven forbid, being BORED!
  • and kids who think that life is all unicorns and fucking rainbows, it’s not, deal with it.


Here’s What You Can Do:

Allow them to experience some failure early on:

Ask yourself as a mama, does your child have coping skills?

Those valuable skills that are needed in order to DEAL with failure the older they get.

Now, this is something that is necessary and needs to be cultivated from an early age because by the time your child hits junior high, they need to know how to deal with bullies, missed grades, boyfriend/girlfriend chaos and the such.

Do you have a toddler who doesn’t get themselves dressed?  Do they get you to feed them their meals?  Do they wait for you to clean up their rooms or toys for them?  Do you make their beds?  Do you do their chores?  Do you still make their lunch at 16?  Do you do their laundry?  You get my point.  

Now as parents and myself included, I am not perfect here. There are some things that I need to work on as well with my seven year old. But we all want what’s best for our kids and that should be a kid who takes responsibility for their mistakes, their successes, their tribulations and everything in between.

No mother wants to see her child fail, or get hurt.  We want to coddle them and keep them safe and make sure that they’re okay; and to some degree, like when it’s dangerous, I agree. 

I’m talking about things like:

  • getting a shitty mark in a class
  • not making a team
  • forgetting books at home
  • not doing homework
  • skipping school
  • never pitching in around the house
  • forgetting their lunch at home
  • not making a team

Although no parent wants their child to feel hurt or pain in their heart, it is an absolute necessity! They HAVE to fail and we have to let them!

“Our kids have to fail, and we have to let them.” - The Mojo Mama Click To Tweet

They have to have those failures so that when something comes up later on in their pre-teens, teen or young adult life that is a little bit unsettling, they have the skills with which to cope with, right?  

In grade nine at the schools that I have been working at they take everybody on the school teams.  NO ONE  is cut any more.  Because you want to know why?  They don’t want to hurt their feelings.  And I find this to be absolutely ridiculous.

What should be happening is kids should recognize that they are not gifted in certain areas but perhaps they are gifted in others.  Maybe you’re not cut out to be on the basketball team but you’re a fabulous debater.  Maybe you’re not cut out to be on the volleyball team but you can curl like nobody else.  

How is a child supposed to find out what they are good at if we keep coddling the shit out them?  

One of the very things that I preach and practice in my life and teachings in The Mojo Mama Movement is that if we change a mom, we can then change a child and together we can change the world.

“Change a mom, change a child, change the world.” - The Mojo Mama Click To Tweet

This is a lofty goal, but it’s doable, as I’ve seen it happen it over and over again in my groups and courses and meet ups with my mamas.

Want to raise a well balanced, happy, well adjusted child that gives back to society and not just expects things to plop into their lap as they live their entitled life? Who doesn’t?


My Question to You Is:

What can we do together as mamas to raise amazing children who can change the world?  Let me know in the comments below.

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