May 26, 2017 • BY Laurie Joy

Why I Am So Fucking Tired of the Bullshit

And I’m Calling Them Out on It!

Do you see this picture above?

This has got to be the ultimate WTF that I have seen lately in my email.

This week I received an invitation to be a part of something (explained below) and in the next email, I was shown this PAYMENT CHART!

You see, the first email I got was an invitation to me, as a fellow female entrepreneur to be featured on her “wildly engaged social media outlets.”

Now, let me tell you, I have been reached out to before, many times, and it is with each email I receive that I am skeptical about the person’s motives on the other end. Call me cautious, call me a skeptic, call me what you will, but it’s with GOOD reason that I am.

This particular lady entrepreneur wanted to feature me on ALL her social media outlets…but, I had to PAY!

Notice the chart aforementioned. Yes, I had to PAY to be featured and celebrated and noticed and loved on and given exposure to!

I respectfully declined her offer, but there were SO MANY other women who didn’t. Those women who said YES and paid to be featured. And to me, this is sad. A sad day for all women entrepreneurs who not only feel this is the only way to get your face and brand in front of an audience, but for the woman who is charging other women for that exposure.

I just couldn’t be a part of it.

I’ve been noticing a bit of an epidemic around this lately, and the aforementioned chart was the email that put me over the proverbial edge, so to speak.

Here’s what I’ve been seeing as of late.

Case Study #1:

Let me take you back to two months ago. I opened my email to an invitation to be a part of an online summit. And like so many other entrepreneurs, when someone reaches out to you because they like what you’ve been doing in the online space, you feel good about yourself. You feel a pang of validation that for all the hard work you’ve been putting forth that someone out there sees you, hears you and wants to say, “Hey, job well done!”

It wasn’t until I responded and thanked them for the invitation and asked what I could do to help their audience, that I noticed, they didn’t want me, or deemed I, or my content were good enough for them unless I had an email list of 5,000 people or more!

You know what, I don’t have an email list that size, but what makes you think that even if I did, that anyone is reading the emails sent?

To that I say, WHAT THE FUCK?

Case Study #2:

This happened on social media. It was a post from another fellow female entrepreneur asking for our feedback to her post.

She wanted to know how we “give back” as a result of our businesses.

Now, since the beginning, I have been giving back. But that’s a whole other post….

To my chagrin, the poser of this question didn’t want you to answer unless you were making…you guessed it…SIX FUCKING FIGURES!

So, I can give back without making a consistent 6 figures, (which I have done since I started my Mama Mojo business) but you just don’t want to know about it unless I have a 6 figure income?

How does that make sense?

Why is it that unless you are a HUGE name, making the elusive SIX figures and have an email list the size of TEXAS, are you not worthy?

Case Study #3:

I spoke at a large mompreneur conference with many other women who were much further along in their business careers as myself. These women showed up some 15 minutes prior to their ‘talk time’ with their entourage, spoke and then left the conference without so much as a hello, hi, kiss my ass to the very women who bought the tickets to not only see them, but perhaps meet them (God forbid) or take a selfie at the least.

The organizers of the conference were actually surprised when I arrived the day BEFORE my talk to take part in the conference itself.

In fact, I actually shared the opportunity with some of my mamas who came to the conference, hung out with me, we chatted some strategy and made it a weekend.

When did we all get so damn big that we can’t take time out of our schedules to say hello or chat with the women who spent their hard earned money and time away from families to come and see you speak?

Riddle me this.

Did we not ALL start out with no followers, no list and NOT making six figures?

Did we not ALL wish that someone, somewhere would love the product/course/freebie/webinar/teaching we feel so fucking passionately about and not only love it themselves, but tell others about it?

Did we not ALL start off the same way?

Then why, pray tell, when you get a bit bigger, and you have some money coming in and some people on your email list that you get to play the holier than thou role and spit on the peons who were once where you were at one time in your business? Lest we forget people….

Here is who I give back to….

Made With a Purpose and World Teacher Aid

and I don’t make six figures, yet I still do it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you to the following people who have given me chance when I was just first starting out:

  • Jaclyne Mellone: I met Jaclyne through a fellow female entrepreneur and before even really knowing what Jaclyne did, she invited me to a be a guest on her wildly successful podcast, All Up In Your Lady Business. Note, she didn’t ask me what my email size was, she didn’t care, she just liked what I did and offered me an opportunity. Thank you, Jaclyn.

  • Jennifer Sparks: I met Jennifer at an event for female entrepreneurs and we became fast friends. I mean, she has a book entitled, From WTF to OMG! How can you NOT like a woman with a book titled that? She asked me to be a part of her podcast, Get Happy Now. Note, she didn’t ask me how many Facebook followers I had, or had me pay to be on the show. Thank you, Jennifer.
  • Luis Carlos and Gaby from Niños de Ahora: I stood up and spoke for about ten minutes at a Jeff Walker event (as it was a hot seat opportunity) and from that Luis and his amazing wife Gaby invited me to be a part of their International Parenting Summit. They didn’t ask me how many Instagram followers I had, they loved my enthusiasm (so they told me) and I got to share my top mama tips to their loving audience BEFORE my business even started!
  • Chantelle Adams: I met Chantelle at another entrepreneurial event and I invited her to lunch, as I was drawn to her shoes…that’s another story for another day. Albeit, I coached with Chantelle, but she gave me the opportunity to have my first speaking gig in front of 150 female entrepreneurs at her Shine Live Event. Not because I had an email list of 5,000 people, but because I ROCKED her trainings and she felt that I was worthy to share my story on her stage. Thank you, Chantelle.
  • Paul Kim: Reached out to me after a mutual friend told him about what I did and who I served. Now, although Paul didn’t ask for stats, he did do his homework, which I appreciated. He took the time to view my website, and read my mission to see who I served. Therefore, when it came time to speak on his podcast, Raising Rebellion, he was prepared and had questions specific to me and my audience! Well done, Paul!
  • Mariana Ruiz: Reached out to me and asked if I’d be a part of her podcast earlier this year and I was tickled pink! And this is how it should be done, mompreneurs helping mompreneurs with no agenda and no payment (in subsequent emails). I have reached out to other mompreneur podcasts, but have been told that when my list and following becomes more sizeable, I will be considered. Can I tell you that when it does, perhaps I won’t have the time (or the patience) to be selected. On a more positive note, it was lovely to spend the time with Mariana on her podcast The Mom Entrepreneur Success Podcast.
  • Rachel Pederson: This powerhouse Social Media Strategist mama reached out to me and graciously asked me to be on her podcast and I couldn’t have said yes fast enough. And guess what? I didn’t’ have to pay her or pitch her or bribe her or do anything in order to share my wisdom with her and her audience. Shocker…I know!

There are many things that I have learned and continue to learn as a new(ish) entrepreneur and I am very happy to learn these lessons. It makes me aware of the people who I am around, and makes me even more aware of how I will and want to be treated by others.

My Question to You Is:

Have you been a part of this bullshit exclusivity and how did it make you feel? I can’t be the only one. Share in the comments below.

Comments 5

  1. OMG Joy! I cant believe this! So proud that you are taking a stand against this it is unacceptable behavior. What you said on the podcast was hugely valuable to me and my audience and it was so much fun chatting witg you. This is ultimately what its about: serving our people & doing what we love. Not to be snobs and have a certain email list or bank account size.

  2. Yes, I have run across this. We live in a pay-to-play society, but once in awhile, the lilies show up.

    Entrepreneurs with style & integrity who lead with a message instead of numbers. Belief instead of bucks.

    Thank you for your candor!

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